Do You Feel Alone In Your Marriage?
Has the ‘vibe’ in your marriage changed? Maybe that’s why you are wondering about couples therapy.
Have shifts like job change and kids created stress and disagreements?
Do you wish you could just push the reset button and go back in time when it was easier?
It can feel painful and difficult when the closeness and connectedness get lost along the way. The zest that was there at the beginning can be hard to sustain in the long-term.
When that zest period ends things change. Communication can get more difficult and adjustments have to made in how you show love and commitment to one another. Without those adjustments resentment and bitterness can start to creep in and create further difficulties. Constant arguments over what ought to be trivial things, can make you feel like it tempting to shut down and shut off from your partner. Maybe couples therapy can help.
Every Couple Face Seasons of Stress and Trial
Almost every couple is going to deal with strains in the relationship. It is inevitable because a relationship is two good, but flawed people. Loss of a loved one, a challenge like job loss, or even happy events lie a promotion at work or a birth of a child can be a stressor. On top of those inevitable life events, mental health challenges like depression, anxiety, adult ADHD, loss of sexual interest to name a few. And then there can be more dramatic challenges of infertility, or unplanned pregnancy, or infidelity that can create a rift in the relationship. Over time one or both people may let other interests take over until their commitment to the marriage is overshadowed.
There is a fragility in long-term intimate relationships. The good news, though is that with the help of a compassionate, experienced couples therapist you can get your relationship back on track and feel fulfilled and satisfied in your relationship.
How Couples Therapy Can Help
All couples go through tough times. The therapists at Russell & Associates have helped lots of couples through those seasons and see them come out the other side. We have extensive experience and we bring hope and optimism to the conversation. Whether it is a recent problem or a longstanding one, there is always hope for change for the better.
In the first session or two we will get a clear picture of each person’s needs, frustrations and wishes. We don’t take sides. That’s not helpful. We listen to both people to understand where you are coming from. When both people feel like someone is listening to their perspective, it becomes easier to identify that forces and dynamics that are driving the disagreements and conflict.
You may feel that you and your partner have grown apart., like he or she is not the same person you married. Well, that is partly true. You have grown and developed and become a new version of yourself, just as your partner has. The trick is to grow together and continue to appreciate the person your spouse is today; appreciate the person you are today, and still remember the good of the past. Even if you feel disconnected from your spouse now, with the help of a skilled and supportive therapist, it is possible to feel heard, understood, and empowered to make some positive shifts.
Doesn’t Going to Therapy Mean That There is Something Wrong With Us?
We have not problem getting the oil changed in our car from time to time. We understand that regular maintenance helps prevent larger more expensive repairs later on. The same principle applies to your relationship that you want to last much longer than your latest vehicle. Going for therapy doesn’t mean there is some thing wrong with you: it means you value yourselves and the relationship enough to make it the best it can be.
Also, couples research has shown that long-term happy married couples have problems. Those problems don’t mean its a bad marriage or bad people, it just means there two humans trying to do the best they can.
Isn’t Couples Therapy Expensive?
Look at couples therapy as an investment in yourself and your relationship. By working out the kinks in the relationship you will significantly reduce your stress and anxiety level, and if there are kids in the home they will feel the improvement.
If you are ready to get started improving your relationship with our help, we would love to help! Contact one of the therapists below. The following therapists are particularly interested in couples therapy.
Dr Don Russell in Winnipeg
Yok Knight in Winnipeg